JDM: The Clapped Out, Truck Sticked Mini Bike Of Your Dreams

When I'm a little hungry, I often rumble over to one of the many convenience stores in my corner of Kobe. Here, I can find cute miniaturized versions of my favorite confections, a tempting new fizzy drink or seasonal ice cream flavor. I didn't expect to stumble upon this gem of a miniature motorcycle at my local Lawson's, but I'm so glad I did. Just look at it. It is magical. It is glorious. A piece of crap? Yes, no doubt. Only in Japan? Of course. Someone's pride and joy? Absolutely.

We measure bikes all wrong. Horsepower, torque, weight, dyno charts, lap times. However, If you measure a bike by the sheer delight it can illicit, then you cannot deny the allure of the clapped out, truck sticked mini-bike. Cheap enough to buy, maintain and crash on a any budget, and - this is key - cheap enough to ride like a horseman of the apocalypse. No number can quantify joy, so there is no use in looking at statistics. The charm of this bike truly lives in the details - so let's take a closer look...

The muffler seems to have been sawn off at an attractive oblique angle. Passenger pegs are in the ready position and a pillion seat strap is available as well. The rider clearly cares about the well-being of others. Looking closely at the strap, it holds two screwdrivers in precarious yet convenient placement. Upon your next visit to Japan, if you happen to find screwdrivers littered on public roads, you know where to return them.

The accessory smartphone and cup holders extend the touring capabilities of this machine by adding sat-nav and reducing unnecessary hydration stops. In case the rider wanted to stretch the bike's legs on a kart track, the red anodized aluminum clip-ons allows for tucking in and riding a tailwind through the downhill straightaway. For stunting purposes, the number plate has been angled juuust so as to notify the rider when they have reached 12 o'clock.

On a serious note though, a piece of advice I heard recently on Highside Lowside podcast has been ringing in my ears: Ride what you can afford! The amount of joy per yen you can squeeze out of these mini-bikes is hilarious. Here in Japan, you honestly don't need more than 90cc's to keep pace with traffic on city streets. You might be able to get by on 50cc's if you don't mind falling behind on the by-pass (Japan's A roads).  As mentioned in my mail carrier article, many of the JP Post bikes are only 50cc's, and those bikes own the road.

In case you are wondering, the Honda Ape in the photo displaces between 50cc and 100cc depending on the model you choose - I can't recall which version this was, but I threw this image up on Reddit and someone identified it as the larger of the two. I see plenty of these mini-bikes around town as well as the new crop of 125cc minis like the Grom and Z125. 

125cc is also the lowest rung on the motorcycle license ladder. Yes the system is graduated here, but it is fairly easy to pass the 125 test. The day I passed my unlimited class test, I was the only person to do so, but all dozen or so people who took the 125 test passed without issue. The more challenging sections of the test course - the narrow crank and s-turns - are much easier with a narrow bike and no clutch to feather.

A co-worker of mine who has a Harley Road King with at least one million yen of custom parts on it, also has a Honda Monkey that he prefers to commute to work on. He has just as enthusiastically modified his mini-bike as he has his Harley. That's another virtue of these little machines - they're so cheap, you have plenty of cash left over to customize them.

It doesn't take much. A 50cc mini-bike can get you pretty far in Japan, a motorcycle paradise if you ask me. The B roads are impeccably maintained, seldom straight and each one that leads out of the city promises something special. So what are you waiting for? Grab a mini-bike, pack a lunch and pick a direction - I'll see you on the road.